Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Not Without You



Shawn loved his dad more than anything in the world. When his mother left them to marry someone else, Shawn was just 8 years old. His little brain never understood why his mother had to leave such a wonderful husband? He was ashamed and full of anger. From that day he had developed a repellent behavior towards all women. He was happy with his small and comforting world with his Dad.

David worked for an interior designing firm, A La Decor. You could notice him from a distance because of his tall lanky figure and strong grave voice. His work was highly praised and he bagged all the best projects. He was content and never really looked around for female company. He was too busy for that... too busy bringing up Shawn and with his work.

His new assignment required him to go to Mumbai and it also came with an increment and a promotion. He was elated but didn’t know how Shawn would take it. It required him to be away for 6 long months but with Jane, his sister and her husband Joshua around, David didn’t have much to worry about.

David broke the news to Shawn about being away for 6 months. Shawn was disappointed but like a matured guy said, “That’s great Dad! Go and Make big money and then we’ll go to watch a real football game when you’re back.”

David hugged his son and promised to call everyday. Sometimes David felt guilty for snatching away his son’s innocence at such an early age.

Shawn quipped after a while saying, “Just that won’t do but if you club it with a promise to get me a play station, I’ll do just fine.”
They gave a hearty laugh and they both began packing for David.

In the morning, David and Shawn were joined by Jane and Joshua. They said their prayers, had break fast and then David left.

Shawn didn’t cry. He believed it was only girls who cried and for all the wrong reasons. He waved good bye with a broad smile. Shawn’s eyes followed David’s car till it vanished at the horizon. “I am gonna miss you Dad.”

David’s new office was huge. He was given a personal cabin overlooking the Bandra - Worli sea link. His intercom buzzed.
“David, I would like you to meet your new team now. Leena would be assisting you throughout. She’ll take you through the project details and introduce you to the team as well.”

“Right Sir.”

There was a soft knock on the door.

“Come in.”

Leena walked into the room with a bunch of folders in one hand and flowers in the other. She was looking beautiful in the simple blue cotton saari. Elegant and confident David said to himself.
She placed the flowers in the vase deftly. “Hi David. I hope you are all settled. It would be a difficult transition from the quite of Dehradun to the hustle bustle of Mumbai?”

“Yeah… its very humid as well out here and the local trains are no help. I’ll take some time to get used to all this, I guess.”

“You’ll be alright, David.” She smiled the most beautiful smile David had ever seen.

“I believe you have gone through the project proposal already. I’ll still run you through it.”

She was intelligent. David noticed. He was bowled over by her.

Life was too hectic as expected and pressure was high with the magnitude of work and expectations. David finished the work well before the deadline and it was a big help and comfort to have Leena around. The project was a smashing success and David was on the top of the world. He immediately called Shawn and gave him the news.

“Hey buddy, I miss you a lot.” Shawn couldn’t contain his happiness because soon David would be back, all to himself.

“I missed you too Dad. When are you coming back? Have you booked your ticket?”

There was a silence. David didn’t know how to say this. He cleared his throat and went on “Coming soon Son… ummmm, listen up Shawn. There is someone coming along with me. She is a nice person and I am sure you would be glad to meet her.”

“Uh… huh..” Shawn didn’t know what to say.
Did he hear “she”?

Whole night Shawn twisted and turned in his bed for a long time. Questions flooding his mind.

Flight was scheduled to land at 5 in the morning and since the airport was close by David reached home at 6 A.M. Shawn was already up and ready. Excitement, anxiety and above all the fear of facing a lady was written large on his face. David came out of the cab. Shawn ran and hugged him tight as if sensing some sort of infiltration he hugged him even more when Leena emerged from the other side.

Leena had been brought up in a very conservative Mallu family. Her father, a retired colonel had always been a doting father but very disciplined. While Leena’s Mom was hysteric about her decision to marry a divorcee, Leena’s father had developed a liking for David. They clicked instantly. But before really going ahead with the marriage plan, David made it clear that he will have to take Shawn’s consent. Everyone agreed and thus Leena came with David to meet Shawn.

“Hi Shawn”

“Uh… Hi… Dad, I missed you a lot. Come I’ll show you the trophy I won in the inter schoool football game last month.” He almost avoided confronting Leena.

They went inside with Leena in tow. He very gingerly took out the glass and gold trophy from the shelf and handed it over to David carefully avoiding looking in Leena’s direction. David hugged and congratulated him, “That’s like my boy! Shawn, would you like to show your trophy to Leena? I’ll get some tea.”

“That’s a nice trophy Shawn. So you are on the defense or the attack side?” Leena desperately tried to strike up a conversation.

Shawn looked away again and after replacing his treasured trophy followed David to the kitchen. Leena simply went after him. David saw her and smiled. Leena was a bit tensed.

She tried again with calm and smiling her nicest smile ever, “So Shawn, where is your school? You didn’t go today?”

“My vacations are going on and besides I had to be here to welcome Dad.” He replied curtly.

Sigh. At least he replied.

She glanced around in the kitchen and saw a photograph of Shawn and David fixed on the fridge.

Again she started thinking about her decision. Would it work? Would Shawn ever accept her?

She was jolted when David handed her the cup with the same soothing smile that had captivated her the very first time. She then looked at Shawn who was staring at her like a detective stares at a fugitive. He was forcing her to reveal her identity and leave his cocoon right away without causing further disruption.

They sat together in the lawn and started chatting with mostly Leena keeping quiet or being cut in between by Shawn who was determined not to let her speak... It was difficult for her as well. She loved kids but she never expected to start her married life like this. Shawn was no help either.

They had a rather quite dinner that night. Every mind had one or the other question troubling them.

Shawn “When is she going to go back? I hate her.”

David, “This looks like the perfect family to me. I love her.”

Leena, “…..?????. I wish I could make things better. Will he ever accept me?”

They all said good night and went off to sleep. After almost an hour, Shawn unable to sleep, nudged David who was also wide awake and asked, “Dad, why didn’t she go back to her house? I don’t like her.”
David sensing his insecurity assured him that Leena would be leaving soon but he should give her chance and she would make a nice friend.

Shawn looked into David’s eyes, as if voicing his worst fears ever asked, “You like her, Right? You want to marry her?”

David was caught unawares and didn’t know how to respond. He then grabbed the opportunity and said, “Shawn. You are my best buddy and I have to tell this to you. I love Leena and am really hoping to marry and make her a part of our lives. Shawn, I am sure you’ll like her. Try talking to her. Won’t you do that for me buddy?”

“Yeah. Sure Dad.” His matured self surfaced again and David felt bad.

Almost a week passed by. Each day brought the same routine for all. Leena trying sincerely to get closer to Shawn. Shawn trying hard to evade all persuasions and David exasperated managing his responsibilities, his needs and his job.

It was full moon night. Leena was packing her bags to leave the next morning and David was with Shawn in the room. Leena and David never got a chance to spend time alone like they did in Mumbai. After packing, Leena sat on the edge of her bed silently crying sensing her failure and the fear of losing out on being a part of David’s life. She got up to get some water. It was dark and she fumbled twice and then entered the dimly lit drawing room. She found her way to the couch near the window. She always found the moonlight very comforting. She started introspection on her life. She had come a long way from a carefree young girl fresh out of college. She got the job she loved. Everything was perfect and then she met David. She relived all the moments they spent together. She had liked him the moment she met him and she knew that the feeling was mutual. Then she thought about Shawn. Leena felt all grown up, confused and … motherly at the same time. The transition from being a girl to being a mother was not at all easy.

After making sure Shawn was asleep, David got up. He came out of his room and spotted Leena on the sofa with her eyes closed. He tip toed in her direction and kissed her on the forehead. Leena almost let out a small scream but David stopped her. David couldn’t ignore noticing again how beautiful she looked. Especially in her pink negligee and the moonlight illuminating her creamy complexion, he couldn’t resist getting closer to her. He adjusted himself next to her on the couch and slid his arm below her neck. Leena cuddled up to him and closed her eyes. She felt the best in his arms. David kissed her again, but this time on the nose. She giggled. He then started kissing her on her face and made his way to her lips. She craved for more and kissed him back. She whimpered. She was completely aroused now. David got closer and hugged her tight. He touched her slightly and gently everywhere and exactly the places where she craved to be touched.

Shawn got up from a bad dream and panicked when he didn’t find David by his side. He shouted, “Dad… Dad… Where are you?”
Leena broke lose from David’s arms and they ran towards Shawn. Leena felt very coy facing Shawn but she concealed it somehow. Shawn hugged David and started crying.
“Why did you leave me Dad? Why?” and almost immediately threw an angry look in Leena’s direction. She felt stupid and unwanted.
A tiny drop of tear glittered from her eye and Shawn noticed it.
Leena reeled back to her room. David took the signal and thought Shawn was not going to accept her. He comforted Shawn and made him sleep. Shawn felt triumphant on winning back his Dad. He was relieved now but somehow he couldn’t stop thinking about Leena.

At breakfast, Shawn was the only one chattering and eating. David and Leena were lost somewhere, looking gloomy and baggy eyed from the lack of sleep. Shawn noticed it all but continued avoiding. When they were done, Shawn jumped from the chair and ran towards the drawing room. Leena was trying hard to stop her tears. David came by her side and said, “I am sorry Len. I so wanted to make it work but…”
Leena placed her hand on his and said, “I understand David. Time is what we all need.”

Shawn came in. “Hey Leena. I made a little something for you. A farewell gift.”
Leena was surprised. And even more when she saw what Shawn laid in her hand. It was a picture taken on one of their trips.
He had scribbled "My Family" on it.
Leena hugged her son tight and she smiled and laughed and cried all at the same time. David felt proud of Shawn. They hugged each other as their world was complete now.