The search within...

I formed these lyrics so as to fit into a tune… I mean I started singing it just like dat..

Everybody is trampling me…

My head is down, can’t see a thing..

I wave my hand for help in the air

But every time it falls down in despair

The darkness of my thoughts is swallowing me

There is a shallow light but it can’t reach me

I persuade myself to walk a mile more

But the road traveled has made my feet real sore

Dreams and ambitions have started to fade

With hopes and duties forming a façade

Wish to spend some time alone

But my own shadow looks like somebody else’s clone

I cry and I die but nobody shows pity

I search but I find no soul in vicinity

Haunted and daunted I cry out loud

My tears and thoughts forming a cloud

A ray of hope shines somewhere in my heart

But I am so flustered, can’t figure it out

A voice within me is calling from the shroud

But I neglect thinking it’s my heart’s pound

I sit down wondering of my grave antiquity

How good it feels to call it serendipity

but now I know only I can make it happen

my future, my life and my destiny...

Love... eternal!!

C’mon… don’t tell me. You also??!!

You also believe in passing by affairs!! That comment made by one of my friends kept hammering my head. Made me feel like I’ve committed a big crime. Well… it is a crime of sorts to put your integrity and family prestige at stake!! Oh shit!! I’ve broken their trust. I’ve fallen in LOVE!!

Yeah yeah… the same old story, same old inhibitions. Well I was not jolted from this reality out of the blue. It was there... rather it was a part of me all the while…

But this thing it just happens, you are not prepared, you are completely unarmed and bang the Cupid’s cute arrow goes through your heart and you are left all smeared with love divine…

A cute smile, some flirting, throw few compliments and Whoosh... poof Love is in the air!! Then you can spot the cute couple all hot for each other in every nook and corner possible.
Shopping becomes a ritual and so does going for movies.
This continues till the guy realizes how rapidly his salary is vanishing or when they get bored of each other...
What the heck...

Is this really the face of love now?

JUNO...

If I was a flower growing wild and free

All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.

And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen

All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

If I was a flower growing wild and free

All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.

And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen

All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,

The rumble of your water would be my call.

If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow

Just as long as you were with me, when the cold winds blow.

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod

If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.

If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug

And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.

If you were the love, I'd be the desire.

If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,

And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

Life!

This I wrote when I volunteered for a camp...

It was a real humbling experience sharing the life ke funde with them, their take on life. The way how they are happy even after all the adversities being faced by them. They have this urge to make it big no matter what it takes. At the age of 12, these girls are the sole bread winners in the family. Still they take out time to study and pursue their goals. They are just less fortunate but his world is surely theirs to have. I salute their dedication and perseverance.

Nanhi si aankhon me sapne anek

Khushi hai man me aaj inko dekh

Maasoom se dil aaj ufaan par hai

Dilo me khwaaisho ki halchal si hai

(their was a story telling session for the girls. All were given a paper and a pencil and were asked to write down whatever comes to their mind. The inspiration came from the story of Anne Frank. I couldn’t stop myself and this is what I wrote.)

Today, sitting under this humongous tree, lots of thoughts are streaming my mind. My life, my people, ME. Why, whenever we start thinking, its always my… something, not “me” or “I”?

Most of our life is spent thinking about what may happen, what went wrong, what next… but what about NOW, the most important phase of anyone’s life?!

Writing this, I survey my surroundings, people sitting here with excited faces, sheer enthusiasms they have being expressed on a blank sheet of paper. But, NO.. I am not supposed to think about anything or even keep in mind that people are sitting near me. This is what our problem is. We just don’t value ourselves. Then giving time to “our” thoughts becomes s difficult.

I sit here under the tree

Voices fading in my vicinity

Sun shows bright and shines over me

Split second I wish I had wings and wanna flee

Emotions are swelling up in the core of my heart

Is this just a routine or a new ray of THE start

They say I am special and I can do it

But do I know myself even a bit?!

Will I ever be able to serve myself

When the most difficult thing to do is to love yourself....

The journey...

Today i start this blog and tomorrow i'll be completing 1 full year in KPIT....

Travelling in the time machine it seemed…

Clouds passed by as years were passing by… The sky was as clear as the heart of a 2 yr old. I was lost in my thoughts and gazing at the sky intently. Felt like reaching out to the clouds. My thoughts were floating with them. But something was holding me back.

Myriad of dreams, emotions started disturbing the peace of my soul again. But this time I was determined not to drift away.

I wanted to explore life in its entirety.

Some voices started booming in my ears. Do this, do that, NO, why? How can u? and so on… suddenly I realized my mind was so polluted with the concerns voiced by my people that I just couldn’t think clearly.

Once, I met a person. I met her for some help. According to me, I was simply sharing few things of my life with her. During that small conversation of 15 mins, she screened me in and out. She came out with what really I am, where exactly the problem lies and what I need to do about that. I was dumbstruck. Couldn’t think of anything at that moment.

Later when I was analyzing the situation (out of my habit of thinking too much), I asked myself certain things. How often do I listen to my heart’s voice? When, during the whole day, I’ve even 5 mins when I am all alone and just by myself? And many such questions. Albeit, the answers to all was a big NEVER!!! I realized, I went to her with problems and solutions all readily available with me.

Alas, the angels and demons of my soul are always going to be in contradiction, how foolish of me to doubt the turmoil of my heart. How foolish was it to blame it on the surrounding and people. Soon it the reality struck hard, it was ME all the way…

Finally...

After a lot of thinking and apprehensions... today i successfully started "The Blog".
Just can't explain the feeling but something churned inside me when i hit the start blogging button..
A fear gripped my whole being as if i was being exposed to the shrewd critic side of humanity... All my ecstasies, all my fears will not be just mine anymore...

Oh Crap... how can anyone even read it unless i tell them to.. hehe..
The reason why i finally started was because some one argued with me saying it is just an electronic diary dear. Easy to maintain!!
I was like... Wow! That's amazing... coz the kind of wreckage i have of my musings, they cry out to me for an abode...
So, here i go... :)